I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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