Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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