Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
