fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
