I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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