hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
