apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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