Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
