Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
