I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
