Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
