I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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