Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
