even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
