a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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