3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
