The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
