Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
