spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Even my vagina gasped.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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