just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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