Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
