it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
