I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
