He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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