I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
