The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
