im having a threesome with these popsicles
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
