yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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