why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize