im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Shame - the story of my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
