oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize