I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
