I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
