driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
