we have officially lost it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
