OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
