Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
