she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
