i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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