Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Everyone says I win the strip club
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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