I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
