I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
