After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize