would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize