the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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