I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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