The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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