I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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