He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
