Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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