Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
