Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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