He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize