Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
