sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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