I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So many bounce houses so little time
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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