KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
