I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
