don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
