My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
