Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
