So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
