so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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