literally had 100 drinks last night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize