I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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