guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize